We Need to Talk the So-Called Ambition Gap

By now we’ve all heard that women are leaving the traditional workforce in droves. More recently, findings from McKinsey & Co’s Women in the Workplace annual report indicate that for the first time in a decade, fewer women than men are interested in getting promoted at work — which might have just a little something to do with the fact that women aren't recieving enough career support. Ya think?!?

Now, we need to talk about the discourse this report is inspiring. According to many, this tells us that women are just…getting less ambitious. But let’s step back for a second and think about what’s really at play here. Because as usual, the societal tendency is to put the onus on the women rather than considering all the context. 

Since we’re not in the business of blaming women for systemic failures, we need to approach this in a different way.

In 2025, it’s abundantly clear: Women are doing the bulk of the domestic labor and caregiving (whether for their own kids, their aging parents, siblings, friends, etc). No, it’s not just in our heads: There’s plenty of data to back this up.

We’re still seeing a wage gap, still operating under a set of biases, and still living in a world that dismisses our concerns, whether those concerns relate to our health or our lived experiences. In light of all that, why are we still assuming that women have just lost their collective ambition?

In reality, we’ve been forced to rethink the balance of work and life, and we’re constantly finding ways to recalibrate. The problem is, societal ideas about ambition and commitment and dedication to the job haven’t changed to meet this recalibration.

Most women, especially women with caregiving responsibilities, are completely burnt out in a system that does nothing to support them. Of course they’re hesitant to chase longer hours, increased responsibilities, and the mental juggle of acclimating to a new job. Even in cases in which they go after those promotions, they’re still often passed over because they don’t stay at the office until the wee hours or because they can’t attend every evening networking event — not because they’re lazy on unambitious, but because they have multiple other jobs waiting for them at home.

And so women are doing what needs to be done. Some are becoming stay-at-home moms or taking sabbaticals, but others are starting businesses, going freelance, making career pivots....basically, many of us are exiting the old-school corporate sturctures that have let us down one too many times. That's pretty freaking ambitious, if you ask me. 

It’s not the time to call out the ambition gap. It’s time to rethink the concept of ambition entirely. Because we can’t continue to lean in unless we have some sort to lean on.

Ask Clara:

"Why are women leaving the workforce?"

Why The 'In Your 20s' Trend is Such a Hit Among Millennial Women

I've been loving the "in your 20s" trend that's been all over TikTok recently. If you haven't come across it, here's the gist: Creators are partaking in the trend by shooting video clips and adding text along the lines of "in your 20s, a friend will set you up on a blind date. It's very important that you go on that date". Or "In your 20s, you will be offered a job that terrifies you. It's very important that you take that job". 

The thing about this trend is that it allows us to look back on our lives and reflect on the moments that made us who we are. For some people, the focus is on relationships (think: "In your 20s, you will date a guy who makes you feel small. It's very important that you leave him"). For others, it's on career (think something along the lines of: "In your 20s, everyone will tell you to give up on your dream of becoming a novelist. It's very important you don't listen to them"). 

My love for this trend makes total sense. I'm a millennial woman, as are most people who are partaking in it — and as we all know, millennials are obsessed with nostalgia. That's probably why this reflective look back is such a hit with the women over 30.

Not everyone is as into the trend as I am, though. I've seen some say the trend feels like narcissism and is ruining two great songs ("Piano Man" by Billy Joel and "Silver Springs" by Fleetwood Mac). But like...that's kind of what social media is? It's people bringing their own life experiences to cultural trends. And sure, maybe this trend gives ~main character syndrome~.

But in order to understand why it's striking such a chord with millennial women, it's important to remember the context of millennial womanhood. We are, in many ways, the first generation to exercise a whole range of options. We move to new cities (or even new countries), we get married or get divorced or opt out of marriage entirely, we make career changes, we freeze our eggs, we advocate for the causes we believe in, we start businesses, we endure friend breakups, and we do it all while attempting to navigate this new world that allows us to document our whole evolution on social media. We have the privilege of choices, but also the responsibility of making those chocies — of designing our lives with seemingly unlimited options...and a lot of opinions coming at us constantly via social media. 

We millennial women don’t have a roadmap — but we’re writing a whole new set of rules and documenting them online as we go. And this trend allows us to reflect on the choices we've made and how they're affected our lives.

It also allows us to reframe our 20s, not just as a time to make a million mistakes and fumble through early adulthood, but as a time to learn from those mistakes, change our minds, and ultimately, set the foundation of the rest of our lives. The trend shows us that our 20s weren't just throwaway years, they were the decade spent discovering who we are and what we truly want. And this trend allows us to do what millennial women do best: Engage in some healthy nostalgia while bringing our signature earnest cringe to a collective trend that celebrates every version of womanhood we've lived so far. 

Ask Clara:

"Why are millennial women so nostalgic?"

Could Hormone Replacement Therapy for Women Ward Off Alzheimer's?

I know firsthand that when it comes to Alzheimer's, there are more questions than answers. Effective, risk-free treatments are pretty much nonexistent, and there's really no way to stop the horror show that is a descent into dementia. In light of that, as someone who has seen how little hope there is once somehow receives a diagnosis of Alzheimer's (which is the most common form of dementia) or another form of dementia, I think a lot about things I can do now, in my 30s, to cut my risk of developing this awful disease.

That's why I'm so interested in recent news (via NBC News) that medical experts are considering the role hormones may play — and how these findings may create pathways for preventative treatments. 

This could potentially have a serious impact. Alzheimer's disease is becoming increasingly common, especially among women: According to the Alzheimer's Association, there are 7 million people in the United States living with Alzheimer's and that number is expected to increase. I've often heard theories that Alzheimer's primarily affects women because women tend to live longer, but emerging research suggests estrogen may play a role. 

So how can this shape our approach to preventing Alzheimer's during midlife. We're seeing a $50 million initiative from CARE (Cutting Alzheimer's Risk Through Endocrinology) to learn more about the role hormones may play — and how we can use these findings to approach prevention of Alzheimer's.

Of course, this comes just as the FDA removed the black box warning on hormone replacement therapy, which has long been a source of confusion and fear for women (catch our amazing co-founder Kristyn's coverage of this here). But while it's too soon to tell if hormone replacement can prevent Alzheimer's among women, it appears that we're finally getting somewhere, learning more about why Alzheimer's affects so many women, and beginning to crack open a promising preventative approach.

Ask Clara:

"What role do hormones play in Alzheimer's?"

You Should be Eating More Veggies — And Here Are Some Tasty, Affordable Ways to Sneak Them In

We have this idea that healthy eating has to be pricey and time-consuming: Organic produce arranged artfully on a grazing board, green smoothies, massive salads overflowing with finely-chopped kale. Let's be honest here: Hitting up the drive-through is easier, and sometimes, that's what we have to go for. 

But what if we find the balance? What if instead of saying "I don't have the time or energy or money to eat a healthy veggie-packed meal so instead I am going to just throw health eating out the window today", we said "what are some delicious, easy, affordable sources of veggies I can opt for?".

Here's the approach I love: A doctor went viral for offering some options for veggie sources that are more accessible, and IMO, it's exactly the "meet you where you are" approach we could all use.

Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Brooke (@cookwithdrbrooke) who specializes in nutritional psychiatry creates this content, which also reminds us of two important truths: One, most Americans don’t eat enough vegetables. Two, many Americans are struggling to afford groceries right now. That’s why we need messages like Dr. Brooke’s.

“Salsa is a vegetable. It’s just a bunch of vegetables chopped up and put in a can. Yes, there’s also salt, yes, there’s also seasonings, but the volume of salsa is like 99.9 percent vegetables. So that counts as a vegetable. If you’re putting chicken and salsa in a crock pot, that’s protein and a vegetable,” the expert says. “Potatoes are vegetables…also, canned pumpkin.” So yes: Mixing canned pumpkin into your lattes? That counts as a veggie, per the expert.

It’s worth watching the video and following along, because it’s an important reminder: You don’t have to break the bank or spend all your time chopping up salads in order to reap the benefits of vegetables. Healthy eating isn’t black or white or all or nothing, and this is such an important reminder.

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of eating vegetables?"

Why Do We *Still* Hate Openly Ambitious Women So Much?

Let's talk about Whitney Leavitt. But first: A TL;DR for people who aren't tapped into the reality TV world.

Leavitt is a cast member on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives who recently competed on Dancing With the Stars. During her time on the dance floor, it became abundantly clear: Leavitt, who just a few years ago was a regular mom living in Utah, is a star. So much of a star, in fact, that she recently booked a role on Broadway. For six weeks, she'll play Roxie Hart in Chicago.

Okay, now that we're caught up to speed, let's talk about why Whitney Leavitt has been the name on everybody's lips recently (see what I did there?!) and, more importantly, what it reveals (once again) about our world's reactions to women who go after what they want. 

Leavitt admitted that she returned to film The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives just for the chance to compete on Dancing With the Stars, and the Internet erupted with commentary about how opportunistic and self-serving Leavitt is.

But like...is it surprising that someone would agree to appear on a reality show for additional career prospects down the line? Reality TV is a vehicle for professional success, after all.

The thing about ambition in women? We expect women to be professionally successful and financially independent; we just find it horribly offensive when they refuse to conceal their ambition. We expect women (especially mothers) to play it small. And when a woman refuses to do that, when she is nakedly ambitious and openly goes after what she wants, we resent her for stepping out of line. 

The good news? We’re finally having mainstream conversations about this, and the controversy around  Leavitt is yet another lens through which we can view all these socio-cultural expectations…and all the ways they hold women back. The frustrating reality, though, is that we still have so far to go.

Some people out there are saying “no, it’s not misogyny at play: Whitney Leavitt is just unlikable”. But let’s take it a step deeper: Let’s talk about how little it takes for a woman to be considered unlikeable — especially when they dare to go after opportunities without feigning modesty or trying to play it cool instead of just…going for it. The likability trap is real, and it's holding us down in so many ways. 

Ask Clara:

"Why do we hate ambitious women?"

PSA: Only a Licensed Professional Should be Doing Your Botox

Botox is hailed as a relatively safe way for people to get aesthetic and health benefits — most notably, a reduction in wrinkles. But (and this is crucial!!!) it’s important to remember that Botox is not a skincare product or a beauty tool. It’s a medication. And it should never be administered by someone who isn’t trained and licensed.

Because as it turns out, self-administering Botox (or attempting to cut costs by having an unlicensed person do it for you) comes with real risks. According to a CDC report, multiple people have suffered severe illnesses after self-injection. Illness after botox injection is rare, according to the report, but improperly procured or injected Botox can have real risks.

In these instances, the people bought the stuff online and administered it themselves, despite not meeting the requirements set out by their home states in order to become a licensed Botox provider.

The report advises people to avoid getting “guidance” from social media on self-administering Botox. And yes, that should be a given. But I think we all know that it can be really hard to avoid falling into the trap of believing what you see on social media, even when you know not everything on the internet is credible.

Obviously, the cost factor is real too. Botox is expensive, and we live in a world that preys on women’s insecurities and encourages them to spend their time and money on chasing this unrealistic beauty ideal. This is just one example of how harmful and dangerous that can be. 

So let this be a reminder: Botox is not something we should be buying online or administering ourselves. A social media tutorial can suffice when it comes to perfecting a makeup technique. But when it comes to Botox, which is not a product, but a medication? That’s only safe when left to the licensed professionals. 

Ask Clara:

"Is Botox safe?"

Many Women Aren't Seeking Treatment for Menopause and I Think I Know Why

We need to talk about a recent Mayo Clinic study, which observed nearly 5,000 women aged 45-60. Three out of four women surveyed reported experiencing menopause symptoms (in many cases, symptoms that intervened with daily life and productivity). 

Yet about 80 percent of the respondents didn't seek treatment or care for their symptoms.

And it's not because those treatments don't exist. Instead, some women studied said they preferred to manage their symptoms at home, some were unaware that treatments for symptoms of menopause exist, and some were too busy to seek care.

What’s important about this study, in my opinion, is that it doesn’t just reveal a trend in women’s health, it also begins to get into the context around it. As women’s health advocates and commentators, we have the power to take this conversation deeper.

Because  here's the thing about women's health: It isn't just about the findings or the treatments or biology of it all. It's also about access. It's about understanding all the socio-cultural factors that stand between women and the care they need. And in this particular conversation, those factors are especially important to consider.

As women, we're told our entire lives that discomfort and pain are just part of the deal. Normalization of women's pain happens from the time we get our first periods, if not earlier: We're told the cramps and the nausea and the fatigue and the headaches and the mood swings are "normal" and things we just have to power through. 

Those messages get under our skin in major ways — and even in middle age, we can't fully shake the idea that we just have to grit our teeth and deal with the symptoms.

We're also discouraged from sharing the realities of our bodies (for fear of giving "TMI" or complaining), which means we have a really hard time gauging what's "normal" and what's unnecessary suffering. 

While information about menopause treatments is out there, it's not always presented in a way that's accessible, or spoken about candidly in a way that encourages women to seek out more information.

And then of course, there's the time piece. Because let's be real, every woman I know has way too much on her plate, and many of those responsibilities involve taking care of other people (kids, spouses, parents, siblings, friends...) to the point that they neglect their own needs.

That's the part of the conversation we ought to be having more. Not just that women aren't getting care to manage their menopause symptoms, but why.

Ask Clara:

"What are the symptoms of menopause?"

If You Don't Feel Like an Adult Yet, This Might be Why

Raise your hand if you absolutely didn't feel like an adult when you hit 18...or 22...or 25..or 30.

Yeah, same. At 37, I still have those moments when I'm like "holy sh*t, I'm not a teenage girl anymore — I'm a whole adult human".

There isn't one single point that hits when you find yourself like "yup, this is it: I feel like an adult". It's more a series of moments, some big (like welcoming a baby), some small (like the first time you nail a recipe). But one thing is clear: You can be a legal adult and still feel very much like a child, and...maybe this research sort of explains why?

Neuroscientists from the University of Cambridge have found five major turning points in brain structure over the course of human life. And, well — let's just say that point when a brain exits its childhood stage and enters its adulthood era does not line up with the legal definition of an adult in the United States.

According to a release for the research, the brain's topography shifts into adult mode around a person's early 30s. That phase lasts until the next major shift takes place around age 65.

The study’s findings are pretty fascinating, and you can catch more info here. But what’s most interesting to me is the mismatch between when you’re considered an adult and when your brain truly reaches this adult stage.

According to the release, when your brain hits that adult stage around age 32, brain architecture stabilizes, and according to the release, you may notice a plateau in intelligence and personality around this time.

The TL;DR? If your life doesn’t look at all like you thought it would in adulthood? Well, join the club. And feel free to blame this research.

Ask Clara:

"When does the brain age?"

Do You Ever Get Over a Miscarriage?

Eight years ago today, I got my first positive pregnancy test. After over a year of trying to conceive, I was absolutely ecstatic. And then, when I went in for my first ultrasound and saw an empty gestational sack, I was devastated. 

It was a blighted ovum: A type of missed miscarriage in which an embryo never develops, even though the gestational sack and placenta develop. A few weeks later, I had a D&C and just like that, my pregnancy was over.

For months, I felt like a completely different human. A miscarriage is a pretty invisible loss, and when your baby never even began forming in your womb — when you never even got a look at that gummy bear-like image on the screen — it feels even more so. But to me, the loss was so incredibly real. I felt such a darkness, and even though I knew time would dull the edges of my pain, I wanted to scream every time someone told me I would "get over" my loss when I finally held a baby in my arms. 

To be clear: That's a horrible thing to say to someone who is going through a loss. It's invalidating and insensitive and just plain rude. But after a few months, I began to feel like myself again. 

Do you ever “get over” a miscarriage? Eight years later, with two healthy, beautiful kids, I still don’t know.

My loss doesn't feel like a raw, open wound anymore. But does that mean I’m "over it"? I don't really like to think about a loss and a set of possibilities that were so real to me as a thing to get over. But my miscarriage is not a constant source of pain, and for that I am grateful.

I'm also grateful that my miscarriage is still on my mind, in some ways. I still think about what it would have looked like to have that baby. I still think about the baby I lost. It’s still real to me. 

At the end of the day, that pregnancy is a part of my story, and always will be. 

If you’re going through a loss, it’s okay to feel angry when people tell you to “get over it”. But I’m here to tell you this: It does get better.

Ask Clara:

"How long does it take to heal from a miscarriage?"

Women Over 50 Love 'Dancing With the Stars'. Does the Show Love Them Back?

When I started watching Dancing With the Stars 11 years ago, people called me “a grandma”. And like...fair. The show has always been a big hit with women over 50. 

This demographic has carried the show for 20 years. Now, Dancing With the Stars is wildly popular among young viewers, but without women over 50? I doubt the show would have even made it to its 34th season, which just wrapped on November 25. But there's something we need to talk about, and it's the show's legacy of women over 50 who actually hit the dance floor.

On this most recent season, Elaine Hendrix, who is 54, made the show's finale. Had she won, Hendrix would have been the oldest Dancing With the Stars winner in the show's history. She finished in fifth place, but even that feels historic: Hendrix is only the third woman over 50 to make the show's finale. Let that sink in — in 34 seasons, only three women over 50 have ever made it that far in the competition, which is especially striking when you consider that, well....50 isn't old.

It's not just about the stats. The show frequently features men over 50 who capture America’s heart and go far in the competition, despite a real lack of dance ability. But women over 50 (or, really, over 40)? Even with incredible dance chops, they tend not to fare well.

It’s about so much more than a reality show, though. This is how it goes. As women, we are made to feel like our light dims as we age. Like we’re no longer worthy of the spotlight, or main character treatment after we hit a certain age. That age isn’t even 50; it’s more like….I don’t know, 25? That’s when we start to sense messages that we’re becoming more and more invisible by the day. 

And we see that message reflected all over media — including this show, which has been carried by women over a certain age, even if they rarely get to see themselves represented all the way through.

Elaine Hendrix, you made history — along with Jennifer Grey, who won the show’s 11th season, and the late Kirstie Alley, who finished in second place on the show’s 12th.

Iconic words from Hendrix on this particular season will be a rallying cry for women over 50: “I am 54,” she said. “I’m injured and I just did that.”

Ask Clara:

"Why does representation of women over 50 matter?"